More Than Meets the Eye 

In 2017, when my parents got divorced, it changed everything and really made me question who I was and what I was worth. Looking back, it was the event that had the biggest impact on the trajectory of my life. One of the memories that sticks with me most is sitting in our living room during golden hour while my mom told us she was splitting up from my dad. For years after that, the sunset became something I dreaded. Every Sunday when I switched houses, I would get anxiety attacks as the sun went down. I felt like my heart was being pulled in two different directions, and I wanted to be a part of neither. As I got older, I started to understand more about what had happened with my parents and began seeing my family differently. I grew closer to my siblings, who became the most consistent thing in my life, and I slowly started finding my footing again. Even then, there were still a lot of struggles I carried with me.
In late 2022, I started having heart issues. After fainting multiple times and spending months going from clinic to clinic, I was eventually diagnosed with a form of Wolff- Parkinson-White syndrome. During that time, I was in a really dark place mentally. I struggled to see my purpose and often felt like I wasn’t worth much. By the time I went in for heart surgery in July of 2023, I honestly didn’t know what was ahead for me. Then I woke up. I remember opening my eyes in that hospital room and thinking, I’m still here. It sounds simple, but at that moment everything changed. For the first time in years, I felt alive. I realized that God put me on this Earth for a reason and that I was part of a much bigger picture than I had been able to see. From that point on, I started looking for the good in life instead of focusing only on the bad. It didn’t erase the hard parts of my story, but it changed how I carried them.
One thing I’ve learned is that everyone is fighting battles on the inside that no one can see on the outside. My own struggles have helped me become someone people can talk to, someone who understands, and someone who wants to help. Through BCYAB, I’ve been able to amplify that message and encourage conversations around mental health, especially for young men who might feel alone. Today, my passion is helping people find their way out of the dark parts of their lives and helping them focus on the good while still acknowledging the bad. I want to help reduce the stigma around mental health and create spaces where people feel comfortable being honest about what they’re going through. After all, vulnerability is where connection happens, and that’s something I plan to carry with me into every new chapter of life. BCYAB helped me turn some of the hardest parts of my life into opportunities to lead, advocate, and connect with others. It gave me the confidence to use my voice and help build a stronger, more supportive community for the next generation of youth.

If you had met me during my first year as a YAB member, you probably would have thought you knew exactly who I was. I showed up. I smiled. I participated when I needed to. Then I went home. From the outside, I looked like someone who had it together. I graduated from the Hanny Arram Center for Success. I worked three jobs—sometimes I joked that I did it “for fun”; I was dependable. Productive. Always busy. What most people didn’t see was that I had spent most of my life believing I had to handle everything on my own. At night, my thoughts raced. I struggled to express anything other than perfection. Stress built quietly over the years because I believed that if I just worked harder and showed up for everyone else, I could make up for everything I wasn’t giving myself. I thought it would always be me, myself, and I. Turns out, I was wrong.

I don’t say that often—I’m usually convinced I’m right—but admitting that I couldn’t do
life alone became one of the healthiest things I’ve ever done. For a long time, I confused independence with isolation. I kept myself disconnected from the community because I assumed my nontraditional life made me different. Growing up around an in-home daycare taught me responsibility at a young age. Working became my comfort zone. Being productive became my identity. The connection felt unfamiliar. Everything started changing when I stopped trying to have all the answers and started listening instead. YAB became more than a place to volunteer. It became a place where people wanted to know one another’s stories. Instead of hiding during difficult conversations, I slowly learned to stay in them. The members who chose to show up authentically gave me permission to do the same. Patience wasn’t apparent overnight. It grew one conversation at a time. PhotoVoice was another turning point. Through photography and art, I discovered that sometimes people can express what they cannot yet say out loud.

Looking through a camera lens taught me to slow down and notice details I would have otherwise missed—not just in photographs, but in people and in myself. I’ve realized that’s how growth usually happens. Not all at once. In the little things. My dogs got me into a routine of walking outside. Reading let me imagine worlds where people found belonging long before I believed I could. Music helped me put words to emotions I didn’t know how to describe. Physical challenges reminded me that things that seem impossible become possible one step at a time. Nature became one of my greatest teachers. When I look at the sky, I see hope. The sun is always there, even when the clouds cover it. The clouds themselves are constantly changing. One moment they’re soft and peaceful. The next they’re dark and stormy. They remind me that emotions work the same way—they move, they change, and they don’t last forever. Sometimes I ask myself a simple question: “How are the clouds today?” It helps me recognize where I am without judging myself for being there. Along the way, I’ve also learned that perfection isn’t leadership. I used to step in and take over because I thought things had to meet my standards. Now I understand that my standards are for me—not for the other 8.8 billion people in the world. Leadership isn’t about doing everything yourself. It’s about giving other people the space to figure things out, make mistakes, and grow. Today, my goal isn’t to be the person with all the answers. It’s to help people find their own light. I believe connection creates belonging. Belonging creates confidence. Confidence gives people permission to share their stories, and those stories create communities where someone else realizes they aren’t alone. Looking back, I spent years believing I was disconnected from everyone around me. Now I understand something different. The people who changed my life didn’t rescue me. They welcomed me. They listened. They believed there was a place for me before I believed it myself.

Now I hope to do the same for others. If there’s one motto I try to live by, it’s simple:
Be a respectful person who can make someone smile. Sometimes that’s where connection begins. That’s when I discovered my mission. My mission is to create spaces where people feel seen, heard, and connected. I want to
help others find the confidence to tell their own stories because I know firsthand how powerful it is when someone believes they belong. My connection to YAB continues to motivate me because every conversation reminds me that our stories are not just about us. They’re bridges. When we’re willing to share our victories, our setbacks, and everything in between, we give someone else permission to do the same. That is how communities grow. That is how hope grows. And that’s the kind of impact I want to leave wherever I go.

I believe showing kindness is not a weakness. I believe being vulnerable is not a weakness. I believe asking for help is never, ever, a weakness. I have always been the person that shows my emotions loudly, and I’ve never really felt bad about it. I love talking, laughing, and I love helping people. But it wasn’t always that way. I spent a lot of my childhood feeling alone. To be honest, I’ve always loved talking, mostly to myself. I was also kind of an overdramatic teenager. A lot of people said a lot of mean things to me, and some of those things stuck. When someone says something enough times, it eventually starts to sound like the truth. So I started changing parts of myself to fit whatever the people around me needed. I wasn’t the same person from one friend to the next. I knew it wasn’t right, but as long as people liked me, I didn’t really care. I hate confrontation, I hate disappointing people, and I wanted everyone to think I was okay.

As I got older, I started dealing with some mental health challenges that forced me to slow down and really think about who I was. For the first time, I had to learn that being strong doesn’t mean handling everything by yourself. It means being honest when you’re struggling and letting people help you. When things get overwhelming, one of the ways I cope is by driving around the outskirts of town and listening to music. There is something about being alone with my thoughts, watching the sky change colors, and letting my favorite songs play that helps me slow down. Sometimes I don’t even know where I’m going. I just drive. It doesn’t fix everything, but it reminds me to breathe and gives me space to process what I’m feeling.

That is one of the reasons the Buffalo County Youth Advisory Board became so important to me. Through BCYAB, I found a place where people actually listen. I found people who care about making things better for youth and for our community. I’ve gotten to sit at tables with adults, share my perspective, and have conversations that I never thought I would be confident enough to have. The Youth Advisory Board has also helped me understand how important inclusive communities are. Every person has different experiences, different struggles, and different stories. When people feel like they belong, they’re more willing to speak up, ask for help, and support the people around them. I’ve seen firsthand how YAB makes our community stronger by bringing youth and adults together, encouraging important conversations, and making sure young people have a voice.

My experiences have also made me passionate about mental health advocacy. For a long time, I thought struggling was something you kept to yourself. BCYAB taught me how powerful it can be to talk about it. Sometimes advocacy isn’t standing on a stage or giving a big speech. Sometimes it’s just having an honest conversation. Sometimes it lets someone know that they aren’t the only person feeling the way they do.

I still have a lot of questions. I still have hard days. I still don’t always know exactly who I am. But I know now that I don’t have to figure everything out alone. YAB helped me find my voice. It helped me realize that there is strength in being vulnerable and that asking for help doesn’t make you weak. It also showed me what can happen when people come together, listen to each other, and work toward something bigger than themselves. By bringing youth and adults together, YAB helps create a stronger, more connected community where people feel heard, supported, and valued. And I think that’s something worth being a part of.

When I was 8 years old, I stepped into a courtroom for the first time in my life. It wasn’t like anything I had ever experienced before. The room was lifeless, empty, and the wooden tables and stale smell made the room feel like a place where people settled problems, not created families. I remember sitting with my older sister and crying. At the time, I don’t think I fully understood what was happening.

My biological nephew, Dayton, had been removed from my older brother and his girlfriend because of their substance abuse. His younger half-brother, MJ, had also been taken into custody. The process of getting them to that courtroom was long and painful. My parents focused on the paperwork. The lawyers focused on them. I was somewhere in between. The courtroom felt cold, but the moment itself wasn’t. Somewhere between the paperwork, tears, and stale air, these two boys were no longer kids who might stay, but my brothers forever.

Looking back, I realized the courtroom wasn’t empty, it was filled with their second chance. It promised these two lost boys a place to belong. Family isn’t always who you’re born to but rather the people who choose you, protect you, and fight to keep you.

Following the boys’ adoption, I was happy. I gained two little brothers. But I also became a kid who could take care of herself. I wasn’t a difficult kid. I was a straight-A student. I never got in trouble. I was never worried.

But in the back of my mind, I began to struggle.

I was always told I was mature, but it wasn’t because I chose to be—it was because I had to be. I couldn’t be the one struggling because the boys had gone through more. As I got older, the thoughts in my mind became harder to ignore. By the time I was 11, I attempted to take my own life. By the time I was 12, I had attempted multiple times. I desperately needed help.

When I finally told my mom, she immediately found me a counselor. Counseling helped for a while, but after some personal losses and experiences, I stopped going. I spent years trying to handle everything on my own.

Then on December 19, 2022, during my freshman year, I attempted to take my life again. The next morning I woke up sick, went to school, and ended up getting sent home after throwing up during testing. I told my parents I wasn’t feeling well and kept the truth to myself for two years.

Over those two years, though, something changed. I decided I wanted to live. I couldn’t stay in the darkness anymore.

At the end of my sophomore year, I learned I could graduate early if I completed my junior-year credits over the summer. I had 16 days to finish them, and I did. Around that same time, my guidance counselor told me about YAB and encouraged me to apply.

Joining YAB gave me something I didn’t know I needed: a purpose.

For so much of my life, I felt like my experiences didn’t matter because someone else always had it worse. YAB helped me understand that every story matters, including mine. It gave me the opportunity to advocate for issues that had directly impacted my life and to use my experiences to help create change.

Legislative Days was a turning point for me. I always believed nobody really cared, but standing in that room surrounded by senators and students, I realized people were listening. They cared about what young people had to say and wanted to make things better.

Even though my time with YAB was short, it helped me find my voice. It showed me that advocacy matters and that change happens when people are willing to share their stories. It also gave me the courage to finally tell my parents the truth about what had happened in 2022.

Since then, I’ve continued advocating for myself and others, whether it’s mental health, women’s rights, or immigration rights. YAB taught me that my story has value and that speaking up can help someone else feel less alone.

Today, I no longer hide in the dark. I want to see another day. I want to help others see another day. Most of all, I want to ensure nobody worries about seeing another day. Through empowering young people to share their voices and create change, YAB helps make our community a better place for everyone.

When I joined the Buffalo County Youth Advisory Board  during my freshman year of high school, our facilitator  encouraged all of us to identify gaps in our  

lives/communities/schools. A huge gap in my life was  easy access to mental health resources and education on  advocacy. I joined YAB because I wanted to better  understand the resources available in our community and  help advocate for those who cannot. Over my four years  on BCYAB I have had multiple opportunities to create  change. Through YAB I have been trained in suicide  prevention, NARCAN, and am a wellness ambassador. 

My favorite memory from YAB is going to the State Capital  in 2024 and pushing for the combination of 911 and 988  (the mental health crisis hotline). We presented to the  Governor and Senators on how important it is for people  in crisis to be able to get the help they need from people  with proper training. After two weeks, the bill we  presented was passed and put into effect. It was amazing  to see the change we created as high schoolers positively  affect all Nebraskans who need emergency mental health  care. Another key part of the BCYAB’s mission is having  more trusted adults being able to support youth. In 2024/2025, I struggled with my own mental health and  didn’t feel like I had a lot of support from adults in my life.  Buffalo County Community Partners youth program  manager, Ellery Butterfield, showed up for me time and  time again. On hard days she was always willing to listen,  she visited me while I was in treatment and continues to  check in on me even now. Not only did she step in as a  trusted adult for me, but she also helped my family and I  get connected with local resources when I needed them.  At the time I needed a professional support system due to  the severity of my mental health. Ellery and other staff at 

Buffalo County Community Partners worked together to  make a list and informed my family of the treatment  options in our community. In all honesty, I never would  have gotten the help I needed if BCCP hadn’t connected  me with local providers and services. The Buffalo County  Youth Advisory Board has helped me to be comfortable  sharing my story, become an advocate for mental health,  create a support system for myself, and overall become  more confident as a youth leader. Now through training,  telling my story, and being aware of local resources; I get  to help others who are hurting like I was. Programs like 

BCYAB ensures that young people not only have a voice,  but also the support and tools to build a healthier,  stronger community.

Throughout my life, I have encountered many hardships that have shaped me into the person I am today and the person I hope to become in the future. When I was four or five years old, I was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma. At the time, it seemed like I spent more time in doctors’ offices than at school. Thankfully, I responded well to chemotherapy and survived. As I got older, I began to reflect on that experience and realized how lucky I was to make it through when so many others did not. For a long time, that realization came with guilt. I struggled to understand why I was given another chance when others were not. A few years later, my life changed again when my mom passed away from a heart attack. I was only eight years old. In that moment, it felt like a part of me died too. Walking into the hospital room to say goodbye was one of the hardest things I have ever done. While time has helped me heal, losing my mom is something that has left a permanent mark on my life. As I got older, these experiences weighed heavily on me. For years I struggled with my mental health. Every day felt like a battle. Between the guilt I carried from surviving cancer and the pain of losing my mom, there were times when simply getting out of bed felt impossible. Thankfully, with the help of therapy and healthier coping strategies, I began to find my way forward.

Through my involvement with the Youth Advisory Board, I had opportunities to learn more about how young people can get involved in making changes. YAB gave me a chance to share my experiences and hear from others with similar challenges. It also helped me become more comfortable talking about mental health and why it is important for young people to have access to support and resources. One of the most valuable experiences was attending Youth Legislative Days. Through that experience, I learned more about how Nebraska’s state government works and how laws and policies are made. I had the opportunity to meet with state senators and present to the Governor alongside other youth advocates. It was interesting to see firsthand how people can bring issues to policymakers and be involved in discussions about change. The experience showed me that young people can have a voice in government and that sharing personal experiences can help bring attention to important issues. 

Looking back, the challenges I have faced have helped shape who I am today. Through YAB, I learned more about mental health advocacy, state government, and how youth can be involved in creating change. Programs like YAB give young people opportunities to share their experiences, develop leadership skills, and connect with decision-makers. By empowering youth to be involved in their communities, YAB helps build a stronger, more informed, and more supportive Nebraska for future generations.

Growing up in Ravenna, Nebraska, family and community have always been at the center of my life. As a young girl, I looked up to my dad as my superhero. He made me feel safe, loved, and protected no matter what was happening around me. When he was diagnosed with Stage 4 colon cancer and later passed away, my world changed forever. Losing my dad while I was in junior high was one of the hardest experiences of my life. At the same time, I was struggling with my mental health, confidence, and finding where I belonged. The grief was overwhelming, and for a long time I felt scared, unsure of myself, and afraid to speak up. When I joined the Buffalo County Youth Advisory Board, I had very little confidence and a lot of fear. I only joined because older classmates encouraged me to give it a try. Looking back, it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. BCYAB gave me something I desperately needed: a place where my voice mattered. Through experiences like participating in a community movie night panel, I found myself surrounded by peers and adults who genuinely listened to my opinions and valued what I had to say. Little by little, I began stepping outside my comfort zone. Today, I can stand in front of large groups and speak with confidence, something I never would have imagined when I first joined. The fear didn’t completely disappear. I still get nervous during ice breakers and when meeting new people. The difference is that BCYAB taught me that courage isn’t the absence of fear; it’s choosing to do things even when you’re scared. If you never try because you’re afraid, you never grow. My father’s kindness, humor, and ability to connect with people continue to inspire me. BCYAB gave me the opportunity to honor his legacy by becoming an advocate for others. The organization helped me find purpose in my experiences and showed me how to use my story to support youth facing challenges like my own. Growing up in Ravenna, I understand how important it is for young people in small communities to have opportunities, resources, and a voice in decisions that affect them. Through BCYAB, I learned that advocacy is not just about speaking up for yourself, it’s about helping ensure that all youth, whether they’re from Ravenna, Kearney, or anywhere in Buffalo County, know that their experiences matter and that they are not alone.
The loss of my dad changed me forever, but BCYAB helped shape what came next. Through leadership opportunities, advocacy work, and meaningful connections, I gained confidence, found my voice, and discovered a passion for making a difference. I am incredibly grateful for the opportunity to lead with the same kindness, empathy, and compassion that my dad showed every day. BCYAB didn’t just help me become a better leader, it helped me become the person I am today and inspired me to help build a better community for others.

– Abby Lewandowski, Freshman at Wayne State University